I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
