therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
