I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
