Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she told me i tasted like america
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize