now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
