I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
