You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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