my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
