Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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