He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
