She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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