my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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