New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
