I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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