I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
