I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
