Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
