dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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