Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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