I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
