For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
