i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
do herpes really smell.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We talked him into tasing himself.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I could fuck to npr.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
