I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
