actually, I'm a sock model
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
