The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
