I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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