I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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