More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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