that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize