Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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