She said her name was "party"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We were destined to go to rehab together
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
