Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
