sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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