i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
