Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
