he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
