Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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