carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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