Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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