K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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