just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.