Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Those nachos came to me in a dream
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys