I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
