sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize