Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
