Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
