I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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