Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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