you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
