He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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