I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
