So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
