I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
