Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
