Me. At least after what I've been through.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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