You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
