The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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