Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
