apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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